Self-Love: One Hundred Healing Affirmations

Are we friends on Instagram?

If yes, then you may or may not know that I recently completed a daily affirmation challenge for #the100dayproject

If not, why not?! Ha!

Anyway, back to Instagram and my affirmations. I chose to write and share 100 affirmations in 100 days for the challenge. I gave myself zero rules in terms of this having to be done within the allotted 100 days, and I didn't write or publish affirmations every single day. I want to share these healing affirmations with you now, but because I wrote them in batches of five or ten, and because each batch had its own theme, I didn't first see how they all have healing in common.

A List of Healing Affirmations... For All!

When it came to sharing these affirmations with you here, I stalled a bit because I didn't really know how to differentiate them from this previous list of daily positive affirmations.After a bit of thought and a bit of head-scratching (which are not the same thing with me!), and reading through all of the affirmations - typos and all! - I realised that what they all had in common is that they are healing affirmations. Why do I say this with confidence when their healing qualities aren't immediately obvious (especially if you look at the last ten I wrote!), well, I wrote them during a time of healing myself AND I also think that on any day, at any minute, in any and every moment of life we are healing, or we at least have the potential to heal.

When I started writing this list of positive affirmations I was four months post-partum, recovering from the birth of my second son, and I was just a few weeks away from moving house. The run up to both my son's birth, and buying and moving house, had been extremely stressful due to a number of unforeseen dramas and delays. I dealt with it all fairly well at the time, but in doing so I don't think I realised what sort of hangover I would then feel. I think I felt the after-effects of these huge life changes (not to mention experiencing the stress of the house move in real time) during this affirmation writing challenge, so that is why I am calling these positive affirmations healing affirmations. Yes, originally I just called them positive affirmations but I think that someone looking for positive affirmations is best heading to this list of daily positive affirmations, whereas the affirmations you'll find below aren't quite as peppy, motivational or energetic (though more than a few are - see 37, 56 and 94), instead there's a lot of focus on forgiveness, feeling soothed, seeking calm and growth.

The fact that they also deal with a few different areas of life - parenting, work, relationships - and also with different kinds of personality types - creative souls, extroverts, introverts - I hope mean that these affirmations are healing for lots of you, not just a few of you. I have been making a much more focused and deliberate effort on making my affirmations inclusive and empowering for all types of people regardless of where you are from, what gender you identify as, and what your story, struggles and strengths are.

Even though I'm calling these healing affirmations, I also want to make it clear that you don't have to feel a need for healing or be searching for healing affirmations in order to use or relate to them. And as I often say on Instagram, don't worry if some feel more relatable or relevant than others; that is completely normal. It's also a very healthy and helpful way for you to narrow your focus on the affirmations that are most positive, most empowering and yes, most healing, for you.

Healing Affirmations for Parents and Guardians

Bearing in mind, I'd given birth less than five months before I started writing these affirmations and while the healing process had gone well, it was still ongoing. In fact, I don't think most women fully recover from childbirth for at least a year be it mentally, emotionally or physically - and that can often take much longer. However, if you've followed this blog for more than five minutes you'll know that I have struggled with my transition into motherhood since it happened over four years ago and that struggle is not one that has disappeared. So yes, these parenting affirmations are 100% intended to be healing.

A little note, in these affirmations I talk about 'parents' and 'parenting' but I hope it's clear these can be used for anyone who regularly cares for children, and also for a guardian or foster carer. And of course, where it says 'my child', please note that can also mean 'my children'.

1. I parent with love. Love for myself, and love for my child.

2. The best way I can encourage my child to live a full and happy life is by nurturing one for myself.

3. I am a safe and special place for my child.

4. My child is their own person, just as I am my own person. We are on separate journeys together.

5. I teach my child about unconditional love by loving myself without any expectations or conditions.

6. I embrace the challenges that parenting presents to me with love and patience for myself and my child.

7. It is normal to find parenting challenging. It is healthy to want to take breaks. It is important I look after myself as a parent.

8. I acknowledge and admire the way others parent, but I focus on finding and following my own parenting philosophy.

9. I give myself the same forgiveness and grace I give my child.

10. I accept that fear and worry are part of being a parent, but I give more energy to loving, guiding, and having fun with my child.

Healing Affirmations for a Better World

In the last few years, I've been going on a very real and important journey. It's a journey that has nicely aligned with affirmation, and as I dig deeper into the journey I see it's also a healing journey. Yes, healing myself but actually more about healing others and the world around me. I'm talking about my role and my responsibility in acknowledging the way white supremacy, consumer culture and mass production capitalism is holding back so many groups of people and also killing our planet. To save you a few hundred pages,of further explanation I will instead point you to a few fantastic people on Instagram who are sharing the most enlightening and essential content about these and related topics - Aja Barber, Layla F. Saad, Nova Reid, and Jo Lorenz.

11. The world is not my oyster. The world is my garden and I must love and nourish it.

12. I am happy and mindful to share and love this world with all living beings.

13. I listen to others so that I can better understand their stories and struggles, as well as their hopes and dreams.

14. I am willing to make changes in my own life in order to help others and the world we live in.

15. On sunny days, I take time to seek out the light and feel its warmth on my skin.

16. I am grateful for the seasons that renew and replenish the Earth, and all who live here.

17. I am humbled by nature's beauty and grace, but I am not naive enough to think that they are limitless.

18. I stay curious to find common ground with those who may seem different to me at first.

19. I believe in the power of love to heal this planet, its people and its creations.

20. I am aware of my privilege and I use it to create space for, empower and amplify others.

Healing Affirmations for a Calmer Mind

Who doesn't need a calmer mind? No, seriously, who? Because the longer I live, the harder it seems to be to find someone, anyone, who has a calm mind. This is partly thanks to our Western society's obsession with productivity, busy-ness and "doing" and this not being dealt with by our biology  very well . Our brains are built to experience stress (thank to the fight or flight hormonal reaction) but what we're not as well equipped to do is to calm our mind (or do the healing we need to do to be calmer) when there is just so much stimuli, constantly. I'm not saying anything new here and there is now a whole wellness industry that is monetising solutions to this problem, but if meditation feels too much of a leap right now, and you don't have time for yoga, gift yourself a minute or two to just repeat some of these healing affirmations for a calmer mind, they're also very effective when you are feeling overwhelm, something I've really struggled with in the last few months after our house move.

21. When I feel overwhelmed I do what I can to breathe slowly and deeply.

22. Even when I feel stressed or under pressure, I know that I already have calm inside me, and that it will resurface eventually.

23. Feeling calm is more important than my to do list.

24. In my toughest moments, I give myself unconditional grace and kindness.

25. I know that no thought or feeling lasts forever.

26. Feeling calm looks different to everyone. I focus only on finding my own sense of calm and clarity.

27. Feeling overwhelmed is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that I'm trying really hard to do lots of good things, but I need  to go a little sooner.

28. Every day is different in terms of how my mind will work, how my body will feel, and what I will be able to do.

29. Feelings are not facts.

30. If I can slow my breath, I can slow my mind. And I gift myself extra oxygen when I need it.

Healing Affirmations for Creative Souls

Creativity is my biggest and purest joy. Yes, I said it. More than my kids, my partner, my family and my friends, creativity sparks the most joy in my life. Of course, I'm talking about this sort of professionally because I'm an author of fiction, and yes, this blog and the affirmations I write also requires some creativity, but I also mean in everyday life. When I play with my kids, when I make dinner for my family, when I take photos on my travels or even just in my local neighbourhood, and when I grab a spare minute or two to myself to do some crochet, I am being creative and it FEELS GOOD. And all these creative pursuits have helped me in my hardest times. When I had post-natal depression and anxiety, I found writing my weekly motherhood diaries a great help, and my writing affirmations have been incremental in getting me back to a regular writing habit again and again and again.

So here we go, guys let's get some healing and a little motivation to be creative!

31. I am proud to be a creative person.

32. My creativity is in the core of my being and so I celebrate and honour it.

33. Being a creative person looks different for everyone. I focus on finding and following my own creative path.

34. A little time spent being creative goes a long way to boost my mood and invigorate my mind.

35. Being creative is good for me, my health and my sense of well-being.

36. I give myself space and time to explore my creativity regularly. 

37. It is important to sometimes be creative for no other reason than it is fun and makes me happy!

38. I nurture my own creativity by enjoying the work of others. 

39. To be creative, to indulge my imagination, and to enjoy making things is to be human.

40. I proudly share what I make and create with others, and I hope that it inspires others' creativity too.

Healing Affirmations for Relationships

If there's one thing I wish someone had told me earlier - or better yet given me lessons in at school - that's how hard relationships can be. And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships (although those come with LOTS of complex challenges to navigate) but ANY relationship can be hard in that it requires a lot of work, effort and patience. When I was younger, I assumed if you had love for somebody then it would be easy, and now I see how simplistic and actually unhelpful this approach is. Love is indeed the most powerful, primal bond, but it is like oxygen - it's essential - but we cannot survive or thrive on oxygen alone. So why not try affirmation to help you navigate some of the challenges healthy relationships present? Or let these words offer you some healing affirmation too if you're currently recovering from the end of a relationship or a loss of someone you love.

41. I nurture healthy and meaningful relationships in my life.

42. I acknowledge that relationships require work, patience and love.

43. Friendships are as important to me as romantic relationships.

44. It is okay, and occasionally the best thing, to let some relationships go.

45. All families, all relationships, and all friendships are unique.

46. I stay open to new relationships that will bring good things to my life.

47. In all my relationships, I hold on to a strong sense of my self, and self-worth.

48. Those who love me want me to be as active in loving myself as I am in loving them.

49. Living a long way from someone does not mean we are not central parts of each other's lives.

50. I cherish and value my need to love and feel loved. To crave connection with others is to be human.

Healing Affirmations for Having More Fun

Fun is a very powerful healer. In fact, when I've had problems with anxiety and depression it's the very absence of fun in my life that has alerted me to the fact that something is wrong.  Of course, when you're suffering and unwell it's very difficult to click your fingers and suddenly start having more fun, and likewise we all experience seasons of life where there isn't much space, time or energy for fun, but it is possible (I hope!) to gift yourself the time and space to think about having fun. It could even be the first step in your healing process, so yes, keep these healing affirmations close to you and your mind.

51. There is no limit to the amount of joy that could and should fill my life.

52. Laughter is more than just finding something funny; it's a release, it boosts my immune system, and it helps me connect with others.

53. I am worthy of all the fun I seek and create in my life.

54. The next time I feel a rush of happiness, I will stop, close my eyes and savour it.

55. While I am no longer a child, I make an effort to remember and rediscover what I enjoyed back then.

56. There is no such thing as a fun quota. I'm entitled to enjoy life as much as I can.

57. I feel no shame or embarrassment about what brings me joy in life.

58. I remind myself that life is for living, and so I strive to find and do the things that make me feel most alive.

59. By living a life filled with fun and joy, I inspire others to do the same.

60. Making time and space for fun in my life is an act of self-love.

Healing Affirmations for Finding Balance

If I'm honest, balance is a bit of a dirty word in my mind. It has previously conjured up images and ideas of being fully "zen" with everything, all the time. I used to think that balance was having all my ducks in a row ALWAYS, and then also having a little contingency or extra brain space where I would then be able to let one or two of my ducks fall out of their row and I would be able to quickly line them up again.

Having children, writing books and being a freelancer has very quickly taught me that that is not what balance is, because that is totally unattainable. At least it is in my life. I'm 37 and I think that's enough life experience to justify me coming to that conclusion. Instead, balance, if it does exist is actually much more about one thing dominating for a while until another comes up and takes the top spot, and so on. This can be on a very low day-to-day level - the management of domestic chores - and it can be on a much broader level - like how I'm currently in a very heavy parenting phase as I have two children four and under, and so there is less time for my writing, my social life, and errr, much else! Does this all sound dizzy-making? Yup, it is. 100% it is. And it causes problems for me a lot. Problems that need soothing and healing. In fact, a sense of balance is more about finding peace in the reality of an imbalance. So that's why these affirmations exist, and honestly, they're among some of the most important to me personally in this whole list.

61. I cannot do everything all at once, and so I protect my energy by not trying. 

62. I try to stay mindful of the constant ebb and flow of nearly everything in life.

63. I take time to understand and work in line with my own natural rhythm in terms of my energy and focus.

64. After busy and active days, I prioritise making time for rest and relaxation.

65. I know my body's needs and limits better than anyone, and I respect them.

66. Balance isn't always about saying "no" to things. Sometimes it's about saying "not yet".

67. It is healthy and normal to feel my mood and energy change from one day to the next.

68. Truly good work can only happen when there are also periods of truly good rest.

69. I am at peace with the reality that some days are full of light and laughter, and others are not.

70. Being busy is not he same thing as living a full and happy life.

Healing Affirmations for Extroverts

The next ten affirmations were fun to write because I'm someone who used to think she was an extrovert -  and maybe I was - but now I really do relate more to introvert personality traits, so much so that in the circles I move in (especially online) I felt a bit like I didn't really know many extroverts. This did make these first five affirmations for extroverts a real challenge to write, especially because I approached them the way I used to approach affirmation in general - as trying to find healing words that will help someone solve a problem. It took me a while to realise that for this batch of extrovert affirmations - and perhaps for all affirmations - I should be thinking about celebrating people and what they bring to others - rather than trying to indirectly encourage them to make changes or not fully embrace who they really are.

So here we go extroverts. Thank you for being you.

71. I love being in the company of others, and I am proud of this.

72. While being with other people recharges my energy, it is not a one-way street; I am also giving and loving to those around me.

73. As an extrovert, I still need time alone and moments of quiet in my life.

74. As an extrovert, it is important for me to share space with others and hear their stories and struggles. This is a wonderful way to be!

75. I am good at bringing like-minded people together, and helping others find friendships and connection.

Healing Affirmations for Introverts

I see you too, introverts. Heck, I am you! I guess in many ways, it's being an introvert that really laid out a path for me to start exploring and practising affirmation. I value time alone so much and yet I'm not very good at really having meaningful conversations with myself and so I let other noise determine and influence my inner dialogues. Not any more... at least not all the time. And here are my healing affirmations for introverts.

76. As an introvert, I take all the time I need to be alone, without fear of judgment.

77. I set healthy boundaries in order to protect my energy.

78. I love and respect others for being more outgoing and sociable than I am. In the same way, I love and respect myself for being different.

79. It is impossible to underestimate how important it is that I follow my heart and instincts in doing what I need to do to find peace within myself.

80. As an introvert, I am still full of life and love.

Healing Affirmations for Working Online

For over a decade now I have had the internet to thank for the majority of my income. Since 2011 i have been "location independent" which means all I need to work is a decent internet connection and my laptop; sometimes just the former is enough, in fact I love the internet and I love working online - as a blogger, freelance writer and also an indie author - but I am VERY aware that it comes with a serious dark side. We are still in unprecedented times in terms of understanding how smartphones, social media and even WiFi signals are impacting our minds and bodies (and some of the research already done looks a little bleak) so let's just be careful, mindful and self-loving when we spend any amount of time online, shall we?

81. I am proud of the work I do and the community I am part of thanks to the Internet.

82. I value all the positive online connections and projects I am part of.

83. I nurture safe, meaningful and most importantly, respectful online relationships.

84. For the benefit of my mental health and healing process, I take regular breaks from social media.

85. I strive to live a full and authentic life, both online and offline.

Healing Affirmations for Hard Times

I guess this is what it's all about, this affirmation lark. Hard times happen. And sometimes they overwhelm us. Sometimes they fill our heads with so much negative self-talk that it's hard to escape that cycle or just take a break from it. That's certainly how I felt when my depression and anxiety was at its peak, and if I'm honest I've felt that way at many other times in my life when things just get hard, because that does just happen. I'm a big believer in practising affirmation whenever you can, including when life feels good and light and easy. But let's not pretend that it's most necessary and most powerful when practised during hard times. Of course, it's not a quick fix, and sometimes it does very little, but occasionally it can make small but significant differences in terms of stopping your inner dialogue becoming darker and more negative. And sometimes it can be the start of or a catalyst in your healing process. So please, please, please, please keep this healing affirmations for those hard times nice and close, always. 

86. I can do difficult things.

87. Whenever I am feeling pain, I show myself unlimited kindness and love.

88. I will not abandon myself during this hard time.

89. I am my own very best friend, in good times and bad.

90. I stay curious about the things I feel, even if they are confronting or unpleasant. My feelings are not facts.

Healing Affirmations for the Legend You ALREADY Are

In the original Instagram post where I shared these last ten affirmations I used a swear word, and yes there are more curse words below. I'm sorry if this offends you, but sometimes I think a little cursing can go a long way in getting a message across, and the message here is that YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME. Now time to start saying it yourself.

91. I am one brilliantly beautiful and totally unstoppable human being.

92. I am worthy of unconditional love, weekend Netflix binges and eating cake for breakfast.

93. I often surprise myself with just how fucking awesome I am.

94. I am the biggest and brightest firework. Watch me sparkle and shine, bitches!

95. I show myself love and forgiveness for all the terrible dates I've been on, the bad haircuts I thought looked good, and the many fashion mistakes I have made.

96. It is 100% okay that I make myself laugh. In fact, it's fucking ace!

97. I am shit hot at so many things including drowning myself in self-love and being my own best cartwheeling cheerleader.

98. Every time I stand under a hot shower, I wash away all the hurt and pain the world's wankers have tried to throw my way.

99. When I close my eyes and breathe deep, I can find inner peace... and at the same time I can see whoever I want totally buck naked.

100. I am loved. I am loving. I AM LOVE.

And there you have 100 healing affirmations. Do let me know your favourite in the comments, and if you'd like to read more about affirmation and self-love you should check out these posts:

100 Daily Positive Affirmations

Why and How Affirmation Works

100 Free Self-Care Activities

Why All Writers Need Affirmations

Positive Affirmation Cards for Writers

Also you may like to follow my Instagram accounts where I share affirmations very regularly: @asthebirdflilesblog & @writenowcards

And if you'd like to save or share this post here are some images you can pin:

All photos of artwork by Amber Elizabeth who also has an Etsy shop.

Frances M. Thompson

Londoner turned wanderer, Frankie is an author, freelance writer and blogger. Currently based in Amsterdam, Frankie was nomadic for two years before starting a family with her Australian partner. Frankie is the author of three short story collections, and is a freelance writer for travel and creative brands. In 2017, she launched WriteNOW Cards, affirmation cards for writers that help build a productive and positive writing practice. When not writing contemporary fiction, Frankie shops for vintage clothes, dances to 70s disco music and chases her two young sons around Amsterdam.
Find Frankie on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google+.

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